24 Bits Of Advice Pastors Should Give Husbands In Pre-Marital Counseling

Young, vibrant, excited and haven’t a clue what they are in for! This is a typical scene for pastors to encounter when they do premarital counseling. What’s worse is when you find that one of them thinks they know everything!

In spite of what you face when dealing with young couples before their marriage you must do your best to instill some bits of wisdom in them. This post lists 24 suggestions for husbands that every pastor should consider addressing when premarital counseling is being done.

24 Suggestions For Husbands

#1 – Love your wife and let her know it.

#2 – Be thoughtful and expressive to your wife. Bring her flowers, perfume, etc.

#3 – Be gentle in all of your dealings with your wife. Never be harsh or physically abusive.

#4 – Assume your place of leadership in the home.

#5 – Never brag excessively about another lady in the presence of your wife.

#6 – Always keep appointments with your wife.

#7 – Always come home from your work at the time expected. If this is not possible, call as soon as you can.

#8 – Hold your relationship with your wife very sacred. Do not reveal it to others. Let her know it is a very precious thing to you.

#9 – Eat out with your wife at least once a week.

#10 – Have fun with your wife. Somebody has said, “Couples that pray together, stay together.” Perhaps it should be added, “Couples that pray together and play together, stay together.”

#11 – Lead in spiritual activities. Say grace at the table. Lead in the family devotions. Come to church with your family.

#12 – Be as pleasant as possible at home.

#13 – Go shopping together. Enjoy the commonplace things of life with each other.

#14 – Never criticize her parents.

#15 – Be sure that your wife is happy with your love life.

#16 – Help her in some of the household duties.

#17 – Be interested in what your wife’s activities were for the day.

#18 – Do not take the children’s side when your wife disciplines them. Stay together on discipline.

#19 – Do not spank a child when you are angry. Simply send him to his room. Spank him privately, carefully, and prayerfully… explaining to him why.

#20 – Be sure that the degree of discipline given to a child is proportionate to the degree of guilt. In other words, when a child tells an untruth, he should be spanked harder for this than when he accidentally breaks a vase.

#21 – Be very careful with your relationship with the opposite sex. Do not place yourself in positions where temptations will arise or criticism could be given.

#22 – Usually it is best for the husband to handle the finances, giving his wife an allowance for groceries and incidentals. A little extra should be included in this allowance so that the wife will have a little spending money.

#23 – Read a good book on the home by some Christian author. Read a sensible book on marriage by some good doctor. Certainly read what the Bible has to say about marriage.

#24 – Do not be preoccupied with the duties or thoughts of duties when you are with your wife unless, of course, the duties are being performed together.


Premarital counseling will not prevent problems in the home, but they will help one to be better prepared. Men need all the help they can get about being a better husband. Share the 24 suggestions with them!

These suggestions have been taken from the book A Manual For Young Pastors (And Older Ones Too) by Dr. Jim Phillips. Dr. Phillips has graciously given permission for The Working Pastor to use his material. Any quotes from here need to be given to Dr. Phillips. For those who would like a copy of this book simply contact Brother Phillips: Dr. Jim Phillips – 13 Darby Hill Lane Taylors, SC 29687 or call: 864-609-9431 The book is $17.00 and $3.00 S&H.;

Enhanced by Zemanta

Would you consider purchasing…

503131: Family Religion: Principles for Raising a Godly Family Family Religion: Principles for Raising a Godly Family

By Matthew Henry / Christian Heritage

Matthew Henry’s Family Religionis a collection of his writings on the Christian family. A proponent of religious education in the home, he expounds upon ways to better your devotional, practical, and spiritual exercises. He also speaks strongly regarding the necessity, nature, efficacy and improvement of baptism. Paperback.

Originally posted 2011-02-08 00:01:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

15 Important Counseling Tips For Pastors

From time to time, depending upon the size of your congregation, you will be asked to counsel with people one on one. This type of ministry is not for the novice and can actually ruin a ministry. There must be adequate preparation for each session and a pastor must know what he is doing. This post seeks to share some practical tips for pastors who attempt to counsel their members.
(These 15 tips are derived from The Guide To Practical Pastoring by C. Sumner Wemp) 

#1 – Schedule A Time To Meet: It is preferable to delay the meeting at least 24 hours. This gives the person a time to think through and allow passions to subside. The session will be more objective.

#2 – Have A Specific Place To Counsel: It is wise to have your counseling session in your office and not your home or theirs. This can help the atmosphere, and minimize interruptions.

#3 – Always Begin With Prayer: A counseling session without God’s presence is a waste of time!

#4 – Try To Stay Relaxed: If you are uptight, then it causes everyone in the room to be the same way. This makes the session that much harder!

#5 – Never Appear To Be Pressed For Time: Every pastor is short on time. If you appear to be in a hurry, then your visitors will sense that. They will either not share everything they should or they can develop a guilt complex and not confide in you.

#6 – Pay Attention: Look people in the eye and make them feel that you are paying attention. Do not fake this, but be absolutely genuine! No person is beneath you!

#7 – Know When To Keep Your Mouth SHUT: This is hard for pastors and preachers. Sometimes it is best to say nothing at all! Your opinion can be helpful, but you are not infallible.

#8 – There Are Three Sides To Every Story: Their side, the other person’s side, and the TRUTH.

#9 – Reverence Confidentiality: Everything said in a session must stay in the session. Never assume that anything is okay to speak about with someone outside the context. People need to trust you as a counselor.

#10 – Don’t Assume Or Jump To Hasty Conclusions: More people are hurt and damaged by these two things than anything else in a counseling session.

#11 – Ask Questions: ALWAYS ask questions! Get to know the person. Make SURE you understand what they are saying!

#12 – Be Careful About Long Sessions: 30 minutes to an hour is ample time for the average counseling session. The amount of time for each session should be conveyed when the meeting is scheduled.

#13 – Study The Word Of God For Solutions To Common Problems: The book of Psalms and Proverbs are always good sources of wisdom. They are easily understood and digested. Have references written down to various topics in a handy file.

#14 – When Offering Advice, Try To Teach A Scriptural Principle: Always convey what you are advising with a Scriptural principle.

#15 – Admit That You Do Not Know EVERYTHING: People know that you do not know everything, so do not pretend. Admit your lack and offer to find an answer to share on a later date!


Most counseling can be done through sound, expository preaching. When a session is needed, soak it in prayer and give it all you have. God will honor this!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Would you consider purchasing…

543369: The John Phillips New Testament Commentary, 19 Volumes The John Phillips New Testament Commentary, 19 VolumesBy Kregel Publications

Explore the entire New Testament in greater depth. This complete set of New Testament commentaries from the pen of expositor John Phillips will provide pastors, Sunday school teachers, and students of the Bible with doctrinally sound interpretation that emphasizes the practical application of Bible truth. Preachers especially will appreciate these commentaries as they provide a model and resource for sermons and lessons. Working from the familiar King James Version, Dr. Phillips not only provides helpful commentary on the text, but also includes detailed outlines and numerous illustrations and quotations. Anyone wanting to explore the meaning of God’s word in greater detail for personal spiritual growth or as a resource for preaching and teaching will welcome the guidance and insights of this respected series.

A frequent speaker at churches, conferences, and workshops across North America, John Phillips served as assistant director of the Moody Correspondence School as well as director of the Emmaus Correspondence School, one of the world’s largest Bible correspondence ministries. He also taught in the Moody Evening School and on the Moody Broadcasting radio network. He and his wife, Betty, live in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

Originally posted 2011-02-07 00:01:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

  • join our mailing list
    * indicates required

    Powered by MailChimp